30-From a “Nice” Family

January 19, 2009

“Spend the night at your house?
I’d love to. Sure.”
Sounds like fun.
(Didn’t know what was in store).

How funny, I thought.
Could she want to be friends?
(I didn’t realize she liked women…
Not just men.)

I was naive and stupid.
I didn’t have a clue
What this “nice” respectable
Girl planned to do.

“Here…wear this negligee…
It looks good on you.
You can sleep in my bed–
I’ve got room for you.”

WHY is she touching me?!?!?!
(This is getting real weird!)
“Kiss me,” she says.
God! It’s worse than I feared!

But who would believe me
Or who’d even care?
I came from the gutter–
She came from “up there.”

If something bad happened
The cause had to be me.
It couldn’t be her
From that “nice family.”

If I called my parents
To come rescue me,
They’d be too embarrassed,
Sure the problem was me.

They’d already taught me
I was dirty and bad.
So I couldn’t expect help
From my mother or dad.

I kept begging and begging her,
“Please, won’t you quit!?
I don’t like what you’re doing–
It makes me feel sick!”

When she went to sleep,
I wanted to go home.
But midnight is too late
To walk ten miles alone.

The next day, I left there
As soon as I could
And tried to forget
I could never be “good.”

At church I pretended
She was what she seemed
And tried not to vomit
Or make a bad scene.

Years later, I found out
Her brother raped her for years.
(But it didn’t stop my nightmares
Or dry all the tears).

The moral of the story is:
Who gives a damn
When you come from the side
Of the tracks that I’m from.
If bad things happen
To come your way,
It’s because “you asked for it”
That’s what they all say.

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