9-Old Yeller

January 18, 2009

Saturday morning
I lay on the couch
A quiet eight years old.
My soul already held as much
Grief as it could hold.

The part of the book
Where the nice doggie died
Touched me….it was SO sad!
I started to cry…I didn’t yet know
It’s not safe to cry around Dad.

“What’s wrong with you, stupid!
It’s just a dumb book.
There’s no reason for you to cry!
I’ll give you a reason
For shedding some tears….”
His words hurt like a knife of fire.

He ranted and raved
And called me some names….
(I’m sure I no longer cried.)
But I made there a vow
To never again
Let a man see my vulnerable side.

I learned not to care.
I learned not to trust.
I learned not to give a damn.
I learned it would never never be safe
To be myself around a man.

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