7-Hold Me?

January 15, 2009

NO! NO! NO! NO!
So many times I would have said “No!”
But there’s no other place for a little girl to go.
I’m his “special” girl-he loves me-I matter to him….
She is so angry sometimes! (Other times so sad).
I think he hates her (She says she hates him).

One day, thirty years later,
A friend comes close….
Just a little closer than before….
He didn’t know–but then the landmine blows.
The wreckage throws us both
As for an instant I’m a child again
Struggling in other arms
As my face is turned for a kiss–
A kiss I don’t want.

I resist.
Then I see–
As a child, I PAID!
I said, “No!” But I PAID!
Lost his love.
He doesn’t love
Little girls who say “NO!”
He just loves quiet, “Good Little Girls”
Girls who don’t question,
Don’t tell his secrets,
Girls who don’t ever, ever resist.

Why resist?
All you have to offer is sex (that’s what he said).
Brains? (Who are you kidding?)
Beauty? (Definitely not an option!)
Just a body…that’s all that matters.

Pretend you’re grateful
Glad to be “loved”
Take what you can get…right?
That’s all there is for you.

“Remember, girl,
You wanted it.”
“Whore! That’s what you’re for.”
“Be quiet. Don’t tell!”
“(She’ll kill me and you’ll go to hell).”
Oh well…
“Be quiet and I’ll “love you.”
“Be good to me–
Then I’ll love you, girl.”

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2 Responses to “7-Hold Me?”

  1. Kathryn Says:

    I just got your blog address from Danni. Welcome to the team!

    Keep writing…all the things we’ve been through and endured have led us to this point in time. There’s a reason for this…it’s to “sound the alarm”. It’s HIS timing and for HIS purpose and Glory.

    (((Hugs))) enclosed…

    Kathryn

    • fromthechild Says:

      Thank you for stopping by and for the encouragement. I get used to my story, and the journey, and forget how many people still feel they are on this road alone, and how many women/girls/boys/men in how many churches are trashed when they try to report their abusers. It is still unreal to me. So glad there’s folks, and tools nowdays, for us to let people know they are not alone.
      Blessings!


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